Brenna Twohy shows that anxiety is a super power

Brenda Twohy  - "In Which I Do Not Fear Harvey Dent"

Portland-based performance poet Brenna Twohy grabbed the world’s attention earlier this year with her pieces “Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them” and “Another Rape Poem“. With her latest piece, she captures the inner strength of a sufferer of mental illness with a piece for the preliminaries of the 2014 Individual World Poetry Slam entitled “In Which I Do Not Fear Harvey Dent” (embedded below).

“The worst part of having superpowers is that most of the time other people do not even know that you have them– this heavy thing that your body was not built to hold.”

After discussing the casual ways in which heroes like Peter Parker and Aquaman can impress friends and families with their secret powers during paint ball or online dating, she talks about how quietly putting on your armour every morning is just as heroic a feat for people with anxiety and depression. “On the days that I get out of bed, and put on appropriate workplace attire, and eat three meals – none of which are Hot Pockets – people can’t even tell that right then, at that moment, I am using my super powers.”

She goes on to compare how the X-Men’s Rogue crafts a costume after discovering her touch could be fatal to those around her. For sufferers of anxiety attacks, or people overcoming trauma, this isn’t simply a metaphor: the faces that we wear for the world are very much a part of who we are, like Peter Parker’s altered DNA.  “If you think I am brave,” she declares, “it is because you have never seen me outside of costume.

On her Facebook page, Twohy adds that she was so nervous that she forgot to deliver one of important things to remember about her message. “The worst part of having superpowers is that most of the time other people do not even know that you have them– this heavy thing that your body was not built to hold.” Superheroes are the perfect comparison, as the best of them are ordinary people struggling with the extraordinary. Peter Parker might have his powers, but he still has to deal with everyday life outside of costume. Tony Stark’s billions, good looks, brains and constant stream of dates don’t prevent him from struggling with alcohol dependency.

Perhaps the line that resonates most with us “I have spent years just like Spider-Man, convinced that the best way to protect people who love me was to leap from a tall building. When you have mental illness, society tells you that your only power is invisibility…“.

As someone who has occasionally publicly struggled with depression (there’s a reason we had a 6 week gap in shows this year), and has fielded several questions from readers and listeners reaching out to us, I encourage anybody who is feeling depressed or suicidal to reach out to someone. As long as you can start the process of talking to someone, at least you know you don’t have to wear your costume for everyone. I did that this year when I thought I was at my lowest, and it led me to a place that I didn’t expect I’d be. As one listener said to me very recently, he found it “comforting to know even the best of us are defeated sometimes.”

If you don’t know anyone you can talk with, try Lifeline here in Australia or the equivalent in your state or country. If you know someone who might need your help and you aren’t sure what to do, spend some time educating yourself on the facts about depression, anxiety and suicide prevention, and more importantly, look out for each other this holiday season – and the rest of the year too.

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